Limerick Fairy

Letterman

2009-10-08T18:34:00.004-07:00

On-air, Dave admitted a gaffe:
“On occasion, I’ve slept with my staff.”
Confused by his tone,
The audience groaned
Then simply continued to laugh.

“I’m serious!” Letterman claimed
“And frankly, I’m awfully ashamed.
A greedy civilian
Demanded 2 million
Or else he said I’d be defamed!”

The DA, incensed by that portion,
Urged Dave to help stop the distortion.
And so, in a hurry
Dave told the grand jury
Who charged the big creep with extortion.

Polanski

2009-10-08T18:34:00.003-07:00

After thirty-one years on the lam
Polanski’s now caught in a jam.
The next stop for Roman?
(It’s not a good omen)
A visit to dear Uncle Sam.

In Hollywood, stars were enraged
And their anger could not be assuaged.
“But it’s been so much time!
And his films are sublime!”
As if that means she weren’t underage.

The Birthers

2009-10-08T18:34:00.001-07:00

Conspiracy theorists allege
That Barry’s not fit for his pledge.
“He’s a Kenyan!” they call
Through our nation’s town halls
Though I’d say Barney Frank has the edge.

Governor Paterson

2009-10-08T18:33:00.001-07:00

Obama, in whispered embrace,
Told Paterson right to his face:
“Since time immemorial
Gubernatorial
Races like yours meet disgrace.”

But David, not taking the hint,
Announced he’s not done with his stint.
He growled, awfully moody,
“I can, too, beat Rudy!”
And then said things I musn’t print.

Governor Palin

2009-10-08T18:30:00.000-07:00

Said the book-burning hockey mom beauty
To the press that she’s always called 'snooty,'
“I leave this position
Of my own volition --
Screw gubernatorial duty!”

Life is Hilarious. Mock it.

2009-10-08T17:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Readers:*

A couple years ago, I discovered a suprising new gift for the absurd. That gift appeared in the form of an ability to compose limericks quickly, easily, and on almost any proposed topic. Because I'm a lawyer, my limericks have most often been inspired by some of the more ridiculous litigants and cases I encounter. Last week, I noticed a competition in the New York Times soliciting limericks on current events, and my repetoire grew. I submitted several entries, one of which was published, and all of which I forwarded to a few friends and family. At the suggestion of a couple of the more supportive/delirious of them, I'm now publishing them here. Perhaps, if inspiration strikes, I'll continue posting new entries every once in a while. Until then, enjoy the entries below.

Poetically yours,
The Limerick Fairy

* I apologize to my mom, dad, and college roommates for the unnecessary formality.